Have you ever gone through a very transformational and likely challenging period in your life, or are you feeling the one we're going through in the world right now?
While you were in the midst of that period, did some days seem like the world continued to crash in around you, and you just really started to wonder if things would ever get better?
I hear you. I’ve been there.
Sometimes when it seems our life or the world is falling apart around us, it can actually clear the way for us to undergo some amazing transformation. But when we’re in the midst of it all, it can be hard some days to keep our head above water and hope that eventually the storm will clear, the air will become less thick, and we will be able to see light through the clouds once again.
Why is it that sometimes it seems like things get worse before they get better?
I’ve realized that during these times especially, life can seemingly be trying to send us messages. Life may be trying to help us unearth parts of ourselves or areas in our lives which need great healing. Life may also be trying to present to us new possibilities and directions we can travel, which can serve us and others in even greater ways than we may have been able to imagine.
I think, though, that many people tend to miss these messages. I know I did for years, and sometimes, depending on the situation, it can take me some time to find my lessons even nowadays when I’m actively looking and asking for them, and remaining open to receiving them.
Many of us have often never really been trained or have thought to look for these deeper life lessons. It’s certainly nothing that most of us ever learned about in school, or at home growing up.
When things get worse before they get better, our tendency often can be to just accept the “worse” as a new normal in our lives.
When we do this, we can start to lose even more hope in ourselves and in the world around us. We can fall into a spiral of difficulties, which only seem to continue, perhaps at times for years, until perhaps we can begin to look for the deeper lessons that life is trying to teach us and do our best to apply them and live them.
Everyone has different lessons they can learn from their different experiences. Yet, many of these lessons are so universal as well.
When we really start looking, we may discover that many of these lessons may center around finding ways to love ourselves even more greatly than we may have conceived of before, while at the same time knowing that we are always doing the best we can. These lessons also may center around finding ways to exist as our authentic selves in this world—sometimes, to begin to figure out who our authentic selves really are—and to really find peace with doing so, while living in a world that so often favors conformity and fakeness.
Sometimes we can really grow from a great purging of our minds, hearts, and even our physical environments or our relationships in order to clear out what was and make space for new things to grow.
Those new things that grow can be even greater than what was, if we allow the old to be purged and give space for the new to grow. When we purge a lot from our lives, or if life seems to do it for us, it’s easy to close down and resist any types of new growth. We are grieving. We are naturally feeling the loss or the purge. We are upset. We don’t know what to make of this new space where other things once were. That space may feel achingly or frighteningly empty.
If we realize what is happening, if we see the purge as it happens, allow it to happen, and let our feelings and thoughts clear out without becoming stuck in them or deciding that it’s going to be this difficult forever, we will actually make that space.
And that space is often what we are most afraid of. But it is a beautiful, sacred, amazing space.
We are often so afraid of space. Overall, we don’t take time for space in our days. We fill up every minute with noise, technology, or anything else, so that we don’t have to feel the empty space that naturally exists around all of that and around our minds and hearts.
But it’s when we embrace that space that we allow for the awareness of anything, any relationship, any job, any community, any habitual pattern that may no longer be serving us to emerge.
When these things emerge and make themselves clear to us—often by our very human and natural feelings of increased frustration, powerlessness, anger, rage, bitterness, cynicism, jealousy, scarcity, discomfort, maybe possibly worsening health, etc.—we can know that we are indeed being presented with the very things we may need to clear out of our lives in order to create this beautiful space for new things to emerge.
And the space doesn’t have to be scary. We simply can allow ourselves to embrace it.
I believe that besides many of us going through our own periods of individual purging, we are in a period of a very large, collective purging right now, within our country and within the world. So much is coming up for healing. So much rage, injustice, hatred, bigotry, powerlessness, fear, and cynicism are coming up to the surface in order that we can allow them to release and make space for new and better ways of being.
But it is up to us collectively and individually to recognize that this is what may be happening, and to act accordingly.
Instead of fearing this purging, instead of closing our hearts and minds and flowing into all of the toxic energy that the purge is actually trying to release, we can choose a new way. We can allow for that release, and we can hold space. We don’t have to pick up on the collective energy of the purge, but if we do, that's totally normal and natural. Even so, the more we can let things come up and out, and the more we can look for the lessons our lives are trying to teach us, individually and collectively, the healthier I believe we can all be.
And in time, I believe we can come into spaces where we don’t need to purge so much out, because we’ve chosen to release so much of our personal and collective pain already. That pain has been released, and we can be more free because of it.
We can naturally come to feel less and less frustrated, powerless, fearful, or despairing of events in our lives and in the world, instead of trying to suppress, numb, or pass on any of those natural human feelings. We can believe that somehow, love is always present through it all, and that the greatest love that we can ever know already exists within our own hearts. I believe that it has always existed there, and it always will. It is available for our own access any time we choose it. And with that love firmly grounded in our beings, we can really step into a life filled with much greater wonder, acceptance, joy, receptivity, love, compassion, and unconditionality.
So anytime it feels like it’s getting worse before it gets better, we can learn to trust and know even deeper within our beings that even more great things are indeed yet to come. And as we ask, look, and remain open, our lessons can be there for the taking, always within the best timing for our hearts and minds.
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I’d love to hear from you! Shoot me a personal note through my Contact page, or leave a comment below. Have you had times in your life when things seemed to get worse before they got better? Are you in one of those times now?
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No matter what, always remember this: You are deserving, you are worthy, and you are good enough. Keep being you, keep shining, and keep growing!
With great love,