I’ve made another huge shift in my life. And it has to do with how I define this word: “enough.”
I’ve written before about my relationship with the idea of “not enough,” and how I felt that relationship started. But I’ve made an even deeper shift with this idea, so that I can really feel satisfied in any moment that I choose.
At one time, I was listening to a speech given by a famous celebrity. This person shared about an ongoing struggle they’d faced throughout their lifetime. They shared that they realized that this struggle happened because they were trying to escape from certain uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and circumstances that were happening in their life. And they shared that they realized that even with all they’d accomplished—and their accomplishments, by the way, are massive—that they were still habitually searching for more in life.
I can see, and have seen, many people who may react very angrily to this type of story. Really? A celebrity, someone who society sees and perpetuates as “having it all,” with plenty of money, stuff, attention, plenty of “the good life” many of us are taught to want—and they STILL don’t feel like they have enough?!
I can see how this can elicit deep anger within people. Truthfully, I sense that in this particular instance, the anger may come from a deep sense of feeling betrayed by our society. If that’s what we’re all supposed to want, to aspire to, then how could anyone who “has it all” say that they’re still not satisfied? What on earth does that mean for us? What are we now supposed to aspire to?
If we can get through any of these possible natural and human feelings of anger or betrayal and can look deeper, I feel there’s a much, much greater lesson to be gained here.
So many of us, I sense, feel this hole, this cavity, this bottomless pit of “not enough,” in some way in our lives.
And it can be so easy for us to find anything and everything to use to try to fill up this hole we feel inside, and to do or to want any of these things to an extreme.
Shopping. Technology. Work. Money. Alcohol. Drugs. Food. Sex. Drama. Fighting. Accumulation of stuff. Trying to be “right” about anything in ways that we judge, exclude, or hate others who are different from us. Clinging to relationships with others so that we don’t know where we end and they begin. Any form of addiction to anything. Or perhaps we don’t use or do those things, but we still feel just an aching emptiness within ourselves that may possibly contribute to depression, anxiety, or any number of other illnesses.
If society is hell-bent on selling us so much of this stuff, trying to convince us that any of these things are the answer to our everlasting happiness, and yet still we find ourselves empty, unfulfilled, and longing, then how do we really find happiness that lasts at much greater intervals?
I don’t have the answer for everyone, that’s for sure. But I am finding much greater ways of growing in this answer for myself. As I listened to that celebrity speak a few weeks ago about how they realized they were still searching for more, a very large metaphorical mirror was held up instantly to my face. A brick hit me ever so gently upside the head. ;)
If I kept going mentally and emotionally in certain ways that I’d learned and was still practicing in some respects, I could easily imagine how nothing would ever feel enough for me as well.
If there has been one true constant in my life, it is that I grow. And as much as I’ve already grown, and as grateful as I am for all of it, I still have some pretty huge dreams for the rest of my life. So, to realize that even if I accomplished those dreams, that there might be a gnawing part of me that may still feel unsatisfied, really made me stop myself in my tracks. In that instant, I realized what I wanted to commit to doing, at any moment I chose to give conscious thought to doing so.
If there has been one spiritually-minded concept that has completely eluded me, it has been to “live in the present moment.”
I can easily maintain intense focus in certain ways, and that’s one way of living in the present moment. I feel so present and focused when I write, for instance. Or when I get lost in a really good book or an inspiring television show.
But many times during the day, I find my mind someplace in the past, reflecting on all of my life’s experiences, generally positively these days, but nonetheless. Or I find myself someplace in the future, lost in one of my amazing daydreams.
What I realized as I pondered that celebrity’s words was this:
In every. conscious. moment. I am aware of, I can choose to release into a feeling of satisfaction.
“Is this moment enough?” And I don’t always feel it right away. Sometimes I really have to consciously release any resistance that may be coming up. “Yes. This moment is more than enough.”
“Is this moment enough? Yes.”
“Is this moment enough? Definitely.”
I’ve noticed that if I find this practice difficult, there are usually other feelings coming with it that are asking me to stop and pay attention to them and to see how I can come back to love within my heart and mind.
“Is this moment enough? No! A, B, or C just happened, and I can’t stand it right now! I’m so frustrated—annoyed—angry—upset!”
That’s when I can actually take time to process and feel those feelings of frustration, anger, annoyance, or upset. And then, after I feel those feelings and come to a more neutral space, I can see if I can allow myself to view the situation in a loving way. Maybe I am in need of greater love right then. Maybe I’m being asked to send loving energy to another person who made me upset and could really use it. Or maybe I’m being asked to send loving energy to that part of myself that they reminded me of!
Once I can allow for those feelings of resistance to be felt and to release in time—and this does get easier over time—then I go back to the practice.
“Is this moment enough? Absolutely.” :)
This practice is one that I continue to keep doing. It’s one that I feel confident that no matter what I do or don’t accomplish in my lifetime, I can release into many more moments in my life and enjoy them, deeply contented, or at the very minimum, feel satisfied with them.
If some of my big dreams do come true, I can really have the ability to take them in, instead of immediately searching for the next great thing. I can actually feel content, and amazed, and in awe, and live in that space of deep gratitude much more consistently. In each conscious moment, I can choose to know that my life, as it is right in the here and now, is enough. And that realization is priceless to me. Why?
Because I am filling up that bottomless pit for myself, for free, and in a very healthy, loving way--anytime I choose to.
And the more I do this, the more that pit feels anything but empty and bottomless. :)
I realized long ago that I didn’t want to follow much of society’s standards and try to fill myself up with things that just didn’t last in the long run. It doesn’t mean that I don’t feel I can enjoy certain things. Of course I enjoy eating, shopping, technology, and such. But it means that I really want to do those things with more awareness and fulfillment, and less as a way to try to fill up some huge internal void.
I don’t want to go through my life with that constant sense of lack, of “there has to be more than this.” I want to practice enjoying my life in every moment, or at least to honestly process through and release, and try to learn from any challenging feelings that may come up otherwise. That’s what feels the most fulfilling to me right now, and what I truly expect will continue to for a very long time.
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I’d love to hear from you! Shoot me a personal note through my Contact page, or leave a comment below. Do you feel overall that the life you're living is enough? Do you have dreams for the future, yet, are you able to find satisfaction within yourself and in your life on a daily or momentary basis?
Are you wanting to do some deeper self-reflective work at this time in your life? Check out my first book here.
No matter what, always remember this: You are deserving, you are worthy, and you are good enough. Keep being you, keep shining, and keep growing!
With great love,