Did you know that it’s okay?
It’s okay to be mad at your parents.
It’s okay to be fuming, furious!
It’s okay to tell them, or cry to them, or shout to them, the truth of your heart,
even if it’s in a lone room by yourself and you don’t feel like speaking to them.
It’s okay to tell them what you needed from them, that, in their own humanness,
they maybe couldn’t give you.
And it’s okay to acknowledge that they couldn’t give it to you.
It’s okay to speak these things about them even if they have passed on.
It’s not dishonoring the dead.
It’s finally admitting your own truth.
It's okay to admit that being mad at them doesn't take away from any good or any love that they were able to give you.
In fact, it makes you more fully understand their complete humanity.
It’s okay to stand or sit or curl up in a ball
and let your fragile heart break.
Because in breaking, it grows stronger.
It’s okay to comfort YOURSELF.
That little boy or girl inside who just wanted what we all want—to feel loved.
It’s okay because you’re not going to be punished by them any longer.
And even if you feel like you will be, you have total control to set boundaries with them,
these regular people who just happened to have been your parents.
And it’s okay if it doesn’t feel okay.
It doesn’t feel okay, because for millions of years, your ancestors clung to their loyalties.
They clung to their families.
They obeyed their parents without question or thought,
or from fear of doing otherwise.
But we are in a new time!
We are in a time when emotional honesty brings real healing
to all those who admit their truths.
We are in a time when we don’t need our families to provide our basic needs any longer,
and we don’t need to be dependent on them as adults.
And we are in a time when holding these taboos, these feelings, and these experiences
inside of our hearts any longer
makes it so that they are what run your life and not you.
It’s a new day!
It’s a new time.
And it’s okay.
It’s okay to be honest with the one person who you have to live with for the rest of your life:
And it’s even okay if in doing so, others hate you.
Or shame you.
Or scorn you.
Or make you feel like you’re two centimeters tall.
Because even if that happens, it’s okay to feel the pain.
Don’t be so afraid of feeling the pain.
You are so much stronger than you now know.
You have unbounded strength within you that you have not yet realized.
You can do this.
You can feel this pain.
Because as you feel it,
and as your heart breaks,
and as your connections to those who provided for you as a child may even break,
it is you who is breaking open.
YOU are breaking your heart open so that it can heal.
YOU are breaking your heart open so that it can grow stronger again.
YOU are breaking your heart open so that it can empty out all that no longer serves you
and make so much more space for all that can better serve you now.
And you may not feel that way now.
But you’ve got to let it break.
And you’ve got to give it love.
You may think all your love comes from them.
But when you let your heart break,
you begin to create a miracle for yourself.
For in letting your heart break,
you begin to realize the depth of your own love,
waiting to pour out into your body and your soul.
Waiting to nourish you!
Waiting to FEED you!
And waiting to LOVE you in a way you may have never experienced before.
That’s the treasure you find for being willing to feel the temporary pain.
That’s the reward you’re offered.
So it’s okay.
It’s okay to be mad at your parents.
You are heard.
You are loved.
And you can heal.
I promise you, it’s possible.
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Are you curious to explore more about your relationships with your parents and allow yourself to open to some amazing healing? Check out my first book here. It’s a wonderful space for you to do just that. http://www.francinebrocious.com/all-about-me-book/
No matter what, always remember this: You are deserving, you are worthy, and you are good enough. Keep being you, keep shining, and keep growing!
With great love,